The DM Zone

Many people love Christmas, but today is my favorite day on the Christian calendar. At about the time I’m writing this, women who loved and followed Jesus were gathering oils and spices in order to anoint their beloved Friend and Teacher Who had been placed in a grave without the proper ceremony, but at least He was in a grave. Poor as He was, they were likely thankful for that small blessing.

As the sun came up they would hurry out and make their way to the site of Yeshua’s burial. How would they deal with the guard? Who would roll away the stone? What other thoughts and questions might have been running through their minds? Did they talk to each other, or travel in silence, each thinking her own thoughts?

Imagine the shock of finding no guard and the stone rolled away. Then the double shock of the missing body. Did they forget the spices and oils? Did they simply drop them in dismay? How fragrant the aroma at that moment if they did. While a lovely sent, it was the smell of death to the Jewish women, a smell that would have served to emphasize their total despair. Not only was their Rabboni dead, He was also gone, out of the reach of their ability to say a final, proper good bye. The emotional pain must have been overwhelming. As Jewish women they may have screamed out their mourning, wailing at the top of their lungs because it was proper and because it would have been the only release for their tortured souls.

Suddenly a light and a voice! Did their sobs and wailing come to an abrupt halt? If they were clinging to one another, did they suddenly push away? If they had not been, were they now? How much more could they possibly bear?

But the voice brought good news, though unbelievable.

“Why are you looking for the living among the dead? He is not here, He is risen! As He told you while He was with you, ‘The Son of Man must be handed over to evil men to be crucified and on the third day, to rise again.’ ”

That’s when the women remembered! Yes, He had died but this was the third day, the day He would be returned to life, a testimony to His victory over death, hell and the grave! Could they believe? Could their mourning suddenly be turned into joy and celebration?

As they returned to town, did they marvel? Did they celebrate? Did they debate? Did they begin the journey back with awe and a bit of doubt, but get to town with smiles and laughter? Poor Marry Megdaline must have still had her strong doubts about Christ’s resurrection. It seems the others went back to town but she remained, her sadness not in the least soothed by the words that sent the others away. She stayed at the grave, mourning a loss that I cannot completely fathom. She touched Jesus, traveled with Jesus, listened to Jesus in this physical realm. Her loss must have felt amazingly complete.

I do know a little about how these women felt, though, a small piece. I am among those who have followed Jesus and in the trials of this life thought He was “dead” to me, that I was unable to reach Him ever again. Like Marry, the message that He is alive, He is risen, He walks among the living, unable to penetrate my grief. I know what Jesus said, but how in the moment can I truly believe?

Like Marry I cry so hard that when He walks right up to me I don’t even recognize Him. Marry didn’t realize Who she was talking to until He said her name. I know her joy at that moment because I’ve experienced it, the moment when my Savior helps me recognize Him once again (and again, and again) with just the sound of my name on His lips as He calls me to see Him as He really is, ALIVE! And as I see Him again, I am reminded that He sees me just as He saw Marry Magdaline so many years ago. He sees all of me and accepts all of me and loves me at whatever moment I recognize Him. And since He is powerful enough to overcome the grave, He is powerful enough to overcome anything this life can dish out, including my despair.

Yes, I am to walk in that knowledge and the power of His resurrection every day and it is my goal to do so. But by setting aside a day to fully contemplate the fullness of Christ’s victory over sin and death I am reminded of how very profound it is. It’s like stoking a fire that never really goes out, but needs a little more fuel every so often. Today is like the stoking and I remember those women most because I relate to them so well. And with them I bring a message back to town:

JESUS IS RISEN!
JESUS IS ALIVE!

There’s a song by Matthew West called “The Center.” The chorus says “I wanna know how it feels to be standing in the center of Your will for me. I wanna know what surrender means. Keep me in the center of Your will for me.”

Many times in our lives the center of God’s will hurts and terrifies. Paul reports in 2 Cor 1:8b that he and his companions were sure they were going to die in Asia and it brought despair. Were they out of God’s will because their circumstances looked hopeless? NO! Paul said in v. 5 that sharing in Christ’s sufferings also means they got to share in His comfort. And in many other letters he writes that sharing in Christ’s sufferings is simply assurance of our place with Jesus and we should rejoice in it! Acts is full of stories of disciples doing just that.

Is there a way to know when our suffering is caused by our sin or caused by our devout obedience to God? Admittedly, I have no good answer for that. Perhaps God, in His infinite wisdom, can find a way for us to suffer because we fail and because we are trying to be obedient. He’s God. He knows we’re imperfect, and He uses our imperfections to further His goals, especially when we are pressing towards the prize set before us (Paul, again). So it’s not so far fetched in my mind to think He could find a way for our suffering to be that of Christ’s and of our own making.

Complicated? Yes. I’m not even sure I’m even close to being right. What I do know is, if I’m serious about wanting to be in the center of God’s will, I’d better not be looking for an easy road. In fact, I’d better be looking for one that goes up a steep hill and leads to a cross.

Here is the basic gist of a message we were recently given at a Sunday gathering: We trivialize God’s love when we grumble and complain.

I had never considered that anything I do could trivialize God’s love but that brought me up short. How often do I grumble and complain? Many times a day. Worse are the times I grumble and complain and call it “praying.”

Grumbling and complaining are a way of life for me and many people I know. Now, I know a lot of non-Christians so they don’t have the same information I do, but I know I’m not supposed to grumble and complain (Philippians 2 comes to mind) so why would I do it? Mostly it’s habit and our society tells me it’s “healthy” to “vent” a little. But really, am I walking in faith that God really is faithful if I’m complaining about what I’m going through at any given moment? No, I’m not. Complaining is not faith and without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11). And if I’m not pleasing God I’m not really loving Him, either.

God loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for my sins. Jesus asked God if there were any other way to accomplish what God wanted to accomplish and the answer was no. So Jesus went to that cross without complaint. And He endured all that pain and agony for me. He didn’t get to go through all that with anesthesia, either. He felt every punch, every lash, every hit of the hammer, every muscle tearing and every ligament giving way. He endured it without complaining because He loved me and because He trusted His Father, my Father, to bring something good out of it. And God, the Father Who loved Jesus perfectly, had to watch it happen just to bring me into a relationship with Himself. He loved me so much He didn’t spare Jesus all that agony, His only Son. And I whine about the angry comment my husband just made or the mess my child left in the kitchen, grumbling and complaining that I have to “endure” so much.

But God loves me and when the time is right He brings a message to me: “Daughter, your complaining hurts me deeply. I love you so much. Look what We endured for you. Do you believe that We are unfaithful, that unpleasant circumstances indicate that We have stopped loving you? No, my daughter. We endured far too much to ever stop loving you. It is time for you to stop your habit of complaining and simply trust Me, putting your faith in My faithfulness. Love Me as I have loved you.”

He’s even faithful to correct me when I need the correction. What a loving, faithful Father we have.

A mirror doesn’t do anything except sit or hang around reflecting an image. A dirty, distorted or cracked mirror distorts the image it’s supposed to be reflecting to the point where the image might be virtually unrecognizable. Sadly, the mirror is probably getting a lot of attention for its imperfections. But when the mirror is in good condition, no one gives the mirror a second thought and the image is seen perfectly.

That’s what God wants from me, to be a mirror that simply reflects His glory and no one gives me a second thought. My mirror is full of smudges and cracks, but like a mirror, I can’t even begin to clean myself or fix the cracks. God has to fix those things that cause His image to be distorted in me. And the more I let Him clean and repair, the less notice anyone will give me, but the better His Image will be reflected to the world.

So I’ve decided that I just want to “hang around” and reflect the glory of God. He’s the One everyone needs to see anyway.

A gentleman recently responded to my post, “Good Bye, Granddad” and said he wished I updated more often. Part of my response was that God has been doing so much in my life lately that I couldn’t figure out where to start. So I’ve decided to simply start again and see where God takes it.

When I started this website and blog I was working for Colorado Christian University. I enjoyed my job and spent a lot of time doing it. I even spent my off time thinking about the job. In many ways, CCU had become my family and community of believers. After all, we were all Christian and we were together nearly every day, working for a Christian company. Unfortunately, my paycheck had become my measure of whether or not I was doing the right thing for God’s Kingdom. My thought was, unless God replaced my income with the same or more income, I must be doing what He wanted me to do. And if I was doing what He wanted me to do, it only made sense that I pour all my energy into it, even at the expense of my family’s spiritual health. God would take care of them, I reasoned. My granddad’s death helped me start seeing the problems with my thinking.

On February18th, 2012 I was praying about CCU, God’s Kingdom and my place in both. Long story short, God gave me a choice. The first path, a bright, straight path I could see the end of, kept me at CCU. This would be a “good” path, according to God. The second path was darker and curved away from me abruptly and I couldn’t see anything it held. This was the “better” path, again, according to God. I chose the “better” path and gave my notice the following Tuesday as instructed by the Lord. I had no stream of income to replace that which I was losing, but I had made the choice and did my best to trust the Lord for His provision. March 16th was my last day of employment.

It’s nearly the end of May now and God has been refining my understanding of seeking His Kingdom (Mat 6:33) and of seeing what He’s doing so I can join Him (John 5:19). He’s deepening my understanding of His love and how that love works itself out within the Body of Christ. My journey has been a whirl-wind of revelations and amazing change. I’m overwhelmed by it all and want so much to share every bit of it with anyone who will read/listen. But at the same time, there’s so much to share I simply haven’t known where to start.

Which takes us back to where this post began, not knowing where to “begin again.” I’m not sure what the next post will hold but I can say it won’t be 10 months after this one. God has certainly turned my life upside down, but that’s His Kingdom, all upside-down and inside-out, wisdom = folly and folly = wisdom. I am truly overwhelmed by all He’s doing and revealing. I pray that He gives me the words to help people understand what He’s been revealing to me. God’s work in our lives is truly life-changing when we let Him do the work while we “be still” and let Him do what He’s wants to do.

Shalom!

I have to admit, this is a very personal post. I buried my granddad yesterday. I didn’t know him well for many reasons and so there are regrets associated with his death that make this harder than it otherwise would be. I wish I had gotten to hear his stories I keep hearing were so good. I wish I had seen the kindness everyone talks about. “I wish” are words I wish weren’t associated with how I feel right now but they are. I think we all wish for more time with a loved one who dies, but the wishes that come from regret are like lemon juice to the wound.

Over the last year I did spend more time with him and my grandmother (who we lost just 10 weeks before my granddad) as well as writing to them. As my granddad lay in the hospital for the last 10 weeks I visited as much as I was able to and again, wrote when I couldn’t get down there. I think in the end he knew he was loved but he didn’t get to return that as much as I think he would have liked. But I smile at the times I was able to make him smile. He prayed for me as much as he could and said what he could. I worshiped with him the last time I was there and that is a memory I will treasure. He loved God right up to the end and I got to share in that love for our Father. What a blessing.

Death has a way of highlighting life. Those left behind start thinking about what’s really important and most of us find that what’s really important are the relationships in our lives. The question is, am I cultivating those relationships as much as I can? My answer is no, I’m not. I can do better, including the one I have with God.

“Thank You, Lord that I will see my granddad again and we will once again share in worshiping you, gathered with the angels and other saints. Thank You for the time I did have with him and thank You for what I’ve learned. Help me to cultivate the relationships I have and those yet to be. Teach me your ways, oh, Lord. Teach us all. Amen.”

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on love and community and the early church and comparing all of that to the church as it looks now. Okay, so I’ve been doing that for a long time. Hence Jesus Is Knocking.

I started out just looking at whether or not the modern day church is known for it’s love and what I found is, we’re not! So I started looking at why not. What I found was gossip, backbiting, divorce, judgment and lot of other things that characterize the world rather than what Jesus taught. So I decided that we needed to start looking at how we treated each other before we started looking at what we were doing beyond our walls.

Jesus agrees. In fact, He’s the one who originally said it. John 13:35 records Jesus telling His disciples that people would know who His disciples are by the love they have for one another, not how they love others, but each other. And then Acts records that people were drawn to followers of Christ not because they were so generous to those outside the Church, but to each other!

Now, this does not diminish Jesus also telling His disciples that they should give to others generously, that He sent us on the great mission of evangelism, or that history records that over time people have been drawn to Christianity because of the generosity and love shown to all people. But it does clarify things. If we’re not loving each other first and foremost, we’re not going to draw anyone to Christ no matter how many programs we have.

Think about it, no one wants to be a part of a family that is abusive or negligent. That family will be rejected if they looked at adopting and no matter how many times people were invited over, they wouldn’t want to come. Why would anyone be impressed by the show if they know that the family is always at each others’ throats, so-to-speak?

Today I heard something on the radio that I’m sure many people thought was wonderful. It made me cry. There’s a church in West Virginia that has an annual bike rally to draw the bikers to the church. There was a statement about needing “new bate” for these folks so they drive a motorcycle through the sanctuary (apparently). They have over 100 bikes in the parking lot on that Sunday.

Sounds great, I guess. But what about the other 51 Sundays? Why wouldn’t these same bikers want to come the other weeks? Do they really need “new bate” or do they need to see the “old bate,” the oldest bate there is, God’s love within and between the people who are already gathered there? It’s what drew people in 2000 years ago without fancy gimmicks or great speaking or even a building. Just thousands of people trying to learn how to love each other with the love of Christ.

So I say, let’s start where Jesus told us to start. Let’s start loving each other. What do you think?

My name is Dawn Marie and many years ago God started me on a journey on which I have discovered myself, Him, and His Body. Some discoveries have been wonderful and some have been devastating. I discovered, for example that I can be prideful, fearful, and judgmental. But I also discovered that God loves me: always has, always will. I’m His child and nothing I can do will ever stop His love.

I also discovered that somewhere along the way these last 2000 years, the Church lost her way. For a time I was angry but God showed me that I can’t love Jesus and be angry with His bride. So what was I going to do?

I decided to follow Jesus and love Him enough to love His bride and that was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not easy and the lessons frequently catch me off guard, but I wouldn’t change it.

I invite you as Jesus invited me: Join Him on this journey of love and discovery. I promise, it will never be boring. Frequently difficult, but never boring. He loves you just as you are – damaged, broken, happy, perky – He loves you and welcomes you just as He has welcomed me and countless others these last 2000 years. And me, I love company so I look forward to sharing with you.

Welcome and shalom!