I have to admit, this is a very personal post. I buried my granddad yesterday. I didn’t know him well for many reasons and so there are regrets associated with his death that make this harder than it otherwise would be. I wish I had gotten to hear his stories I keep hearing were so good. I wish I had seen the kindness everyone talks about. “I wish” are words I wish weren’t associated with how I feel right now but they are. I think we all wish for more time with a loved one who dies, but the wishes that come from regret are like lemon juice to the wound.
Over the last year I did spend more time with him and my grandmother (who we lost just 10 weeks before my granddad) as well as writing to them. As my granddad lay in the hospital for the last 10 weeks I visited as much as I was able to and again, wrote when I couldn’t get down there. I think in the end he knew he was loved but he didn’t get to return that as much as I think he would have liked. But I smile at the times I was able to make him smile. He prayed for me as much as he could and said what he could. I worshiped with him the last time I was there and that is a memory I will treasure. He loved God right up to the end and I got to share in that love for our Father. What a blessing.
Death has a way of highlighting life. Those left behind start thinking about what’s really important and most of us find that what’s really important are the relationships in our lives. The question is, am I cultivating those relationships as much as I can? My answer is no, I’m not. I can do better, including the one I have with God.
“Thank You, Lord that I will see my granddad again and we will once again share in worshiping you, gathered with the angels and other saints. Thank You for the time I did have with him and thank You for what I’ve learned. Help me to cultivate the relationships I have and those yet to be. Teach me your ways, oh, Lord. Teach us all. Amen.”
Thank you for having such truly very informative internet site. I wish you updated it more often.
You’re welcome, and thank you for allowing God to use you to speak to me. He’s been doing so much in my life these last few months and I have truly wanted to get back to this. I just haven’t know where to begin, leading to severe procrastination. But I all I really have to is decide to get back to this and God will guide the words.
Thank you for this little push. God uses the members of His body to speak to other members of His body and that’s why we must make this journey of discovering God’s love for us together.
What an incredibly beautiful post about your Granddad, my Dad, Dawn Marie. He was a wonderful, kind man and your visits to him were so very much appreciated…He was always amazed when anyone took the time and made the effort to do something for him ~ he never felt that he “deserved” attention or effort from anyone.
I’m so glad the wonderful Veteran volunteers from the American Legion Post in Castle Rock were there to provide full Military Honors, including a salute from Veteran Riflemen, to honor his service in North Africa and Italy during World War II, for his burial at Fort Logan Cemetery.
Although not all his progeny were able to attend, I’m so glad you were there, along with the other grandchildren who were able to be there, so you all and your aunts and I could place roses on his coffin, as a final farewell, to represent his children, grandchildren, spouses and great grandchildren ~ He was buried with 21 red roses.
As much as I miss him and wish, along with you, that I’d had the time to hear more of his stories, I am so glad he’s once again strong and healthy and happy, and I know he is now able to watch over all of us better than he ever could in this world…And I can now talk to him anytime I wish.
I’m glad you find this post “beautiful.” Because of circumstances I didn’t learn to love him until the last few years but I did love him, and continue to do so. I’m sorry he didn’t know more love in this life. As a child of God and member of His family, he should have.
I take comfort in knowing that he is in the midst of the greatest love he could possibly know now that he is no longer tied to this physical realm. He is now a member of that “great cloud of witnesses” who are with God and yet still with us. I pray he is pleased by the intent of Jesus Is Knocking. I think he would have enjoyed being a part of it. Well, he probably still is, just in a different way. (Just realized, this post makes him very much a part of it. Love the way God works!)
On a personal note, thank you, Mom, for reintroducing me to your dad in my teens. I wish I had understood how important that really was way back then (there’s that regret thing again) but at least I got it in the last few years. And thank you for your support in this endeavor. I’ll never quite be able to show my appreciation in full.
For others who come across this site and are reading this rather personal conversation, please understand that this is exactly the intent of this blog, to be personal, to reach out together for understanding in how we love each other and perhaps don’t do it as well as we ought. Feel free to join in any time.
Shalom!